Facebook has been super awkward for me lately. It’s an easy way to keep in touch with your friends, especially those friends who are likely to respond to an instant message not a phone call. It also helps me keep tabs on people who have barely been involved in my life, because Facebook is like the people version of Pokémon and we gotta catchem’all. Thing is, even when I send friend requests to all the people I can send friend requests to without feeling weird, I still don’t know that many people. Occasionally I’ll get friend requests from women I’ve never met before, and they’re either bots or cam-girls trying for potential customers. It’s usually obvious too, because in terms of attractiveness I feel somewhat like a beached whale with a bag on its face so I’m sure they’re not friending me and seventy-five other men for our stunning features. The profiles are usually one or two days old as well. Do not accept friend requests from these profiles, because I’m pretty sure that’s how you catch venereal social media diseases. Oh, they totally exist. I knew a guy who friended one of those profiles and then he woke up the next morning and his profile had liked Red Lobster on its own. Took him months to get rid of this totally not made up thing I just came up with last night.