Lately I’ve been listening to My Immortal a lot. Oh, no. Not the Evanescence song, goodness no. That song has quality, a good singer and they’re an all-around solid band. No, I’ve been listening to the auto-tuned version of My Immortal, the infamous Harry Potter fanfic. I bring this up because you should listen to it. Find a copy of the manuscript and read along, it only makes it more insane and the auto-tune does kind of mispronounce things sometimes. You may remember way back when, I did a post called Bad vs. Terrible, in which I briefly tried to dissect what it was that made things so bad they’re good against things that were just bad. This is a subject that a lot of people seem to talk about, and I personally feel that “My Immortal has the key to answering this question. Why? Because it may have been written badly intentionally, but it’s still enjoyable. I have another reason for suggesting we take a look at this train wreck of a fan fiction. It does everything wrong.
No joke, it seriously does everything wrong. It takes a well-established and loved storyverse and gives it a complete Goth makeover. It inserts the most obvious Mary-Sue character and her friend ever in the history of fan-fiction and the story has plot holes big to fly the Spruce Moose through and it is so adorably hilarious that you need to go out and find it right now. I can’t recommend this highly enough, either for the laughs or as a dedicated “How not to do it” series for writing in general. Let me state up front before I go any further that I’m not entirely sure who the author is, but I am in no way attempting to make a personal attack on her. It’s a fan-fic. Fan-fics are made for the fans, even if the writer and a very small fanbase are the only ones who got the intended enjoyment out of this. And that is if this was intended to be taken seriously at all. There has been some debate on that topic given the high level of vocabulary and wordplay that really can’t be accidental that the author uses in some places.
I could attempt to do a full write-up here, but I would be unable to do justice to the Duplo majesty we have before us. I think what I’ll do is attempt around four of five chapters in a post and maybe post one every couple of weeks. This way you don’t get sick me of having fun talking about some of my favorite things and I don’t have to gloss over any of the wonderful details. For the sake of these reviews I will be listening to the complete story that can be found on YouTube that is done in computer dub. This means I won’t be commenting on the spelling errors as much, but really, if you’ve seen a word misspelled one time you’ve seen every misspelling ever.
CHAPTER I- The first chapter is one my favorites. I like much detail she spends talking about the clothes, and I get to start playing the game where I count how many times she wears black and blood red. Also she apparently wants to be related to Gerard Way because he’s hot. Not going to question why those two are connected, just throwing that out there. Oh hey! In all this talk about her clothes, I forgot to tell you the character’s name! And what she does! And where she is!. Her name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. She’s in her last year at Hogwarts and now she drops the bomb. She’s a Goth! By the end of this chapter we get our first in a long series of outfits that are almost entirely black and red with a splash of pink. The chapter ends with her saying hello to Draco Malfoy in a conversation that lasts all of two seconds.
The purpose of this fanfic is to chronicle her gothy personas relationship with gothy Draco Malfoy. Later on it becomes the gothy love guadrangle of Enoby, Draco, Vampire Potter and time traveling Tom Riddle. At least I think he time travels. Or maybe she time travels with everyone to see him. I dunno. To be honest, the first chapter is barebones but it has everything a first chapter needs in terms of stuff. We get a name, we get her looks, we get her outfit…in excruciating detail, and we get what her character wants. It lacks atmosphere, but this Titanic just left port. It’s too soon for the iceberg to show up. Let me be clear again that I am in no way poking fun at the author in a mean spirited way. If she enjoyed writing it and people enjoyed reading it, then ultimately mission accomplished. I think I’ll stop here with chapter one, however. Please do come back and enjoy the rest of the voyage as we set out on the good ship “My Immortal”.